PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize