I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
