Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
