Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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