Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
