Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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