You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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