did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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