Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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