I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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