It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
