It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
