let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
