Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
