Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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