and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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