there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
