I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
