I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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