Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
