I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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