The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
