your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
