So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
