i permit you to call me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
