I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
