Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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