even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
