Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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