Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm like, not good at living.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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