I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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