is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
