just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize