i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
