I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
