so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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