Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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