That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Mom said you looked used
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
