we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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