I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My pussy is not your playground.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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