I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it's like iHOP with fire
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
