i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
