He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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