I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
