I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize