so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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