How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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