i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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