Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You made out with two different species that night
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
