i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
