who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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