They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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