Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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