the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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