My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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