the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
