i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I currently don't understand fingers.
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