for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
