Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
