so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
