You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
