It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
