Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize