the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
