It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
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So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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