She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
