the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize