I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
