Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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